AquaLine

Why is life so difficult at the most important time of life???

2009-06-08T09:32:00.000-07:00

I have no idea how should i say it or what should the proper explaination be...

All I know is that I miss her more and more as each day grew passed, the feeling grew deeper and deeper. But still she do not want to tok to me. I guess I would be just a lonely guy in this lonely world alone with no one (life partner) there till my ripe old age with me.

For now life without her is like a living hell...I do not know what is the next step in life for me. I hate to pretend that I'm fine in front of everyone while I'm actually suffering inside...btw this info are just for you ppl who visit my blog pls dun go around telling everyone about what I had said. The world just seems like a long trip of despair and sadness.

I remember that night after I made that stupid mistake...I could not forgave myself even till now but well what can I do...i just hope that God will take me away to him right now right this time so that I can stop pretending to be fine and stop the pain and sadness in me...

Nothing in life is as important as the love that have grew in my heart for her...I just want to waste this life away cause without her, there holds no meaning to life anymore...maybe I'm just being paranoid but still what can I do??? I'm such a pessimistic person...aren't I??!

Maybe it is time that I really need to think it through and find out why my life always change for the worst at the most important moments of my life...each time it happens it drew away my hope for life...bit by bit...little by little till none is left.

I wonder where will I ever get the faith to love someone again if she really avoid me and does not want to accept me. Will I break down??? Will I try to kill myself?? Maybe I will since its not the first attempt anyway but well maybe i won't cause it is too extreme hahas

Everytime I tried to do it God will always stop me at the last moment...push me to lived on...sometimes I just wonder what is there for me in life when it is so miserable...I hate it...Life sometimes truely sux...I can never love again after this one if thats what it is at the end of the road between us...

Avoiding...

2009-04-21T09:36:00.000-07:00

Frankly speaking, I just realise that after my confession to her, she had been avoiding me since.

I've not talk to her for quite a long period of time. And when I finally see her online for this once today night, I thought things are not as bad as it seems, but women are women afterall. Upon confession, all they do is to hide to avoid in having to face you fully in the face. Even though she told me we'll still be friends, so why the avoiding???

To speak the truth I never imagine long lasting love could existed but yet such a thing happen in me. I love her even till now, can't imagine the pain that I'm suffering unless you had gone through 10 years of waiting only to be found disappointed again. However, to have hope is the key to life. The key to maintaning of one's live. So even if I dun really get her, I just need to know that she is happy and well. I'll just be the secret guardian angel of hers that no one can take this angel away from her. I maybe suffering but well atleast I got to really love her.

Loving her is the happiest thing that ever happen to my whole life up till now. Yet behind is a sad and tragic ending.

Ending Phrase (It is a quote by her): "Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to, it doesn't mean that they don't love you with all their heart".

Food Poisoning!!

2009-04-21T07:01:00.000-07:00

It sux, early in the morning at 4 plus 5 woke up and started going to the toilet and have diarrhoea and vomitted. Sian, the feeling sux.

Went to see a doctor and got a MC for school but I still went to school in the end. Today lesson was on game designing and creation of a game in your team. After lesson, I don't feel like eating so I went to the Ambassador room to rest. Hahas no one was there when I went in. Then as I was resting, Ning came in and then followed by Jonathan Ho hahas. Then me and Jon went to visit the cca fiesta as we took a walk to relieve stress. Then we went to Makan Place to eat with Violet hahas. Hope her bf doesn't mind lols, cause we were eating with her cca friends too. Lols

Anyway back to hving food poisoning, I have no idea what did I took yesterday. So i didn't really eat much today as my stomach is not well enough to take it, even till now if I had eaten even a little to much, my stomach will start to feel the stress and finally it hurts again. Got some medicine for vomit, diarrhoea, and clearing of intestine. But I haven took the medicine for stoppage of vommitting as it was meant to be drowsy so I can't take it till I have time to go to sleep.

Anyway thats all for now can't think much, whole body aching everywhere.

Love Hurts Alot

2009-04-20T08:54:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone!

Love hurts! It hurts alot when you miss her/him for 10 years. But it hurts more when you found her/him and realise she/he had forgotten all about it as if it had never happened before at all. Your heart just simply crashed, wrecked into many pieces beyond repair. Nothing can heal it, no one can fix it except her/him. However, you know it was never going to be...

How much you long for it, how much it hurts to know the truth, the slightest possible hope after so long just vanished into empty thin air. Gone in the wind, taken away forever. But still there can't be no love in this world if we do not have love, we are not even worth to be animals, yet love is such a funny and weird thing. It just like to make fun of you everytime.

How I long for what that was lost to me, how I long for that time we had together, how I miss those days. Given to me a great memory on these areas, instead of it being a good thing, it is actually a curse of my life, a curse with no resolve no matter how hard I sought it now. Its the end of my days as a youthful and cheerful person. Things shld get serious now...as for me, my love is dead, no one can ever replace it if only she return will my life be whole again, until then, its time to do what I must do and what I am here for...and to wait for my death.

End of Post.

The moments of regrets!!

2009-04-16T12:20:00.000-07:00

Well what I'm feeling now its exactly what my blog is representing...

There are times when you really regret your past actions. Well I think i really did regret my indecision in the past...like my first love...No way to actually able to forget her...I regreted the time when she left me and regreted the time that if I had know things like this will happen, maybe I shouldn't have started it all along

Whao seems like a blink of an eye that the time passes by, things have change since, and change so much. Well time is good yet bad at times. People kept saying that let time heal all wounds, but for me as time past by the wound deepens and etched deeper into my heart.

Nothing can HEAL it. Any meddling with it will only made it worst...so I've learn it the hard way. Do not think that all things can heal with time..some only grow worst. Never trust time is a way of saying it. Nothing can cure the feeling in me.

Well what bout GOD??? I've pray to him to either stop this nightmare or else give her back to me but well its all bout his plans... I wonder what had he planned to let me do in the future by having this memories that hurts so much...

However i contacted her back recently...so what??! Does it do any good??? I do not know yet just that for now it hurts even more than before...shld i regret it or not??? for contacting her again...WELL I just want to have the hope that maybe we can start afresh, anew again...

Thats all for now...

2009-04-16T12:14:00.000-07:00

Hmm got out with my kindergarten friend today lols. Can't imagine we still can find each other after so long hahas. Lols and you know what!!! His sis is my bro kindergarten friend too lols. Cool ryte?? What a small world!!!

Hmm what made it more unbelievable ish that his parents actually know my grandparents and they actually work together once before lols although they are ofcourse younger than my grandparents luh.

Anyway had a great time today getting back all the old days we lost of from the inability to contact one another in the past. But still like I say "Memories of My Past are cherished and kept forever".

2009-03-22T10:22:00.000-07:00

Hmm well its been a day since I'm back from Pulau Ubin. Loads of things to write about. Man!! can you believe, so unimaginable that i'm back to that nice little place to enjoy and relax myself. Hahas, imagine yourself able to sleep and hear the sound of the waves crashing just beside the shore through the window in a near distance. Moreover, you can see the sun rise on the distance as it moves up into the sky for a brand new day on the shore of the beach just outside the chalet. Sooo Amazing!!!

Well it was fun there but still on the first day i only got there at round 4pm quite late cause it was a friday and my dad only got half a day leave. And due to the fact that he can't finished his work on time, so he'll have to do some monetary claim documents to each consultant in different area at the extreme ends of Singapore. SO yar sad!! But still got to enjoy.

Anyway moving ahead, when I reached there, it was like a step to a kampong. Hahas. Cooling because of the waves and the sea. There's no need for an air-con. So after settling down, I went with my cousins and uncle to rent bicycles.

Btw the uncle that is with me has the same age as me hahas and we go in to the same kindergarten together. Can you believe it??!

So next, my UNCLE could not ride a bicycle so I had to teach him. Who knows?!?!?!, he learn it in like less than 15 minutes hahas nice learning record, hahas. Nice ryte?? hahas lols.

Anyway tired ler continue to type tomorrow hahas.

Byebye Readers!!! Hope You Enjoy the little description of Pulau Ubin at the Beginning!!

2009-03-19T10:03:00.000-07:00

Well another post for today then thats it.

Hmm going to Pulau Ubin tomorrow. I know its gonna be fun cause last time i went there i had an amazing time there hahas

Lovely, cause you get to really enjoy time with your relatives and care bout nothing else in the working society or schools.

Well not to help them advertise but seriously its fun hahas!!

Okay I'll stop here. Tell you more when i return hahas

BB everyone hahas...

2009-03-19T09:27:00.000-07:00

Well seems like its BEEN quite a while since I last post on my blog.

Hmm time to get back on this business hahas. Well..today had a fun day with my tennis friends hahas. It's been months since we played together and finally today is the day hahas. Whaa super high now lols.

Hmm, after the game which was like for a few hours, we stop then one of my friend went off to eat lunch with her bf lor. Whaa pang seh kia sia hahas. Well cause she at first organise this gathering at her condo to play tennis and she say later dunno want eat with us or bf say what she very ps cause call us to come then never go eat lunch with us yet go eat with bf.
After we, playedd finished, she really dun bother sia left us to our own hahas even though we not staying in sengkang!!

OMG!! Imagine how far is it from my home sia
hahas i stay near the west she's at northeast sia hahas
Took MRT also need to change LRT so ex sia hahas.

Monday, July 3, 2006

2006-07-02T23:25:00.000-07:00

Haiz! Jus done my geography homework. Pestered by my bro to let him use the computer. I was wondering what would become of the next day. Jus imagine going to school and see my friends and to face the new week of surprises. Thinking about the results for the new batch of student councillors jus excites me. Facing the new coming week is jus grrreat! but now is jus totally haiz B O R I N G! Staying at home doing nothing after i handed the computer for my brother to use, i simply have nothing much to do! But tomorrow B A C K I N A C T I O N in my school whaa can't ever imagine anything greater than that. Only that I NEED SOMEONE to help me with my MATHS. However, this world is like a aquarium full of different creatures and still many things to explore!! Its good to gain experience but sometimes you jus have to let go of certain things when i become too much too handle. Soo sorry gtg have a...

G O O D D A Y!!!

Sunday, July 2 , 2006

2006-07-02T12:01:00.000-07:00

Back in ancient Greek history, mythical creatures like the Medusa, Nagini, Centaur and the famous Cyclops all appeared in their stories of good against evil. Slowly we bring time back to the present. No creatures, no nothing, but that doesn't mean surprises are lost or abandoned by humans long ago. Although not in physical form, it appears in abstraction all the time around us. How do you make use of it? D I S C O V E R . . .